Pavel Pagarcau celebrated his 20th birthday in hospital. He had been beaten, tortured and humiliated after participating in peaceful protests against Belarus’s election results.

I was born and still live in Gomel, which is the second largest city in Belarus. I am an activist with the centre-right United Civil Party and its youth wing, the Young Democrats.

I joined the opposition movement about a year ago. Everyone around me has always been apolitical, so I became interested in politics by myself. It started when I began watching YouTube channels about the political situations in Europe, Russia and the United States. It got me thinking that Belarus should become a democratic country too. We’ve had 26 years of authoritarian rule by one person: Alexander Lukashenko. Now I realise how strange it is to have lived my whole life under one irremovable power – one that doesn’t want to leave.

This year on 9 August there were presidential elections in Belarus. The official results were not recognised by the global community. Only three countries congratulated Lukashenko on his victory – Russia, China and Armenia. Almost all other governments strongly condemned the violations that took place. Political opponents were arrested and intimidated, and two potential presidential candidates are still in jail now. After the elections, more than 6,000 people were detained for joining in with peaceful demonstrations against the results. Many of them were tortured and beaten.

Like many other young people, I went out to the streets of Gomel, unarmed and intending to protest peacefully. I had no illusions about the current government, but I have to admit the brutality I experienced was worse than I ever expected. On 11 August I went to an evening protest rally. My friends and I had been walking around the city centre for about half an hour when riot police arrived and dispersed us. At the time, the internet had been cut off throughout the country for three whole days, and we couldn’t find our way home safely. 

As we walked along the main square of the city, the so-called cosmonauts – special police services in full camouflage – suddenly ran out at us. They detained me and drove me around the city for a long time. In the end, they brought me to the central district police department of Gomel. Then the most terrible things began.

I remember them taking me to the 4th floor. There was a long dark corridor with no lights. People in balaclavas were standing there. We were forced to crawl along the corridor while people in uniform beat and mocked us. They took off my belt and tied my hands behind my back, then told me to crawl while still beating me. Right then, my phone fell out of my pocket with a chase sticker on it, which is a traditional Belarusian symbol that’s been banned by the president. 

This was a trigger for the security forces. They began to kick me in the head with their boots. Eventually my head cracked against the wall, leaving me half-conscious. Then I was forced to crawl quickly. If I crawled too slowly then they pulled on my shirt, tightening it around my neck so that I couldn’t breathe. The whole corridor, which was about 20 metres long, became a path of torture.

After taking my fingerprints, they took me into the offices where they kicked me some more. They went through my phone, looking at all my messages, social media apps and photos. Then they began to interrogate me. They threatened to rape me while searching me for money, and demanded I tell them how much I was paid for participating in the demonstrations, and by whom. 

They also threatened to break my fingers and continue beating me if I didn’t say who my coordinator was. Eventually they threw us on the floor in the assembly hall of the police department. Our hands were tied behind our backs and none of us were allowed to go to the toilet.

On 12 August we were taken to a temporary detention centre and were given a very informal and unfair mass trial. I was sentenced to 10 days detention while the others were given anywhere from six to 28 days. We were not permitted to walk and were only given bad food and dirty tap water to drink.

By the third day, the detention centre had got so full that I was released. Before leaving, I was told I would be jailed for three years if I took part in any more protests. However, when I came home on 14 August, I began feeling sick and had to be taken to hospital. The doctors found I had concussion from the beatings. I spent my 20th birthday, 15 August, in a hospital bed.

I’m from a family of ordinary workers. My mum and dad have worked at the same plant all their lives. My grandmother died before my birth and my grandfather was disabled when I knew him. He worked as a driver in a factory. 

Part of my family comes from the Gomel region, and the other from Mogilev. I was born in an area that was severely affected by the Chernobyl disaster. We were given an apartment in the city as part of the resettlement programme, and I’m the first generation in my family to grow up in a city. However, I was never taken to Europe in the summers, as others in the Chernobyl Kids programme were. 

I don’t think my parents fully understand what is happening in Belarus. They finally became interested in politics after everything that happened to me. Nobody told them I was detained or where I was. I’m glad they are supportive and don’t judge me. Even though they’re not really political, they worry about me and the situation in our country. I was lucky that I survived. At least three deaths at the hands of the special services operations have been confirmed.

My plan is to finish my higher education in Belarus. I was recently expelled from the Gomel Technical University after four semesters. I have only myself to blame: I was neglecting my studies thanks to my political activism. But I plan to re-enroll and get my diploma. In the future I’d like to open my own business. The economic situation in Belarus is getting worse. It’s very difficult to find a good job, and even more difficult without an education. At best I can earn 300-400 rubles (135 euros) per month.

I used to think the opposition in our country was dead and that people didn’t care about what was happening around them. But now I can see this isn’t true. People have become more active and the nation is recovering. Our self-awareness is growing.

I don’t want to leave Belarus. I love my country. I think it’s better to stay, live and work at home. I hope people will stop being indifferent, and that we will achieve democratic transformation together. I have faith in our society. I’m seeing these changes right now, this summer. A critical mass of people calling for change has appeared, and people are changing the presidential symbols to national ones. I’ll be sad if the protests fizzle out thanks to government repression. But I believe that this self-organised national movement will grow.